Just how badly is this gonna go?
$1,382.00 raised
$2,000.00 goal
A MESSAGE FROM Just how badly is this gonna go?

Running is for Chumps.

But I'm doing it anyway.

I’ve played Ultimate for 15 years and lifted heavy things for 3—but I’ve always thought running was kinda dumb. So naturally, I’m running the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon on March 15, 2026. No training. No regrets. Just hubris.

I'm raising $2,000 for DiscNY, the nonprofit that makes frisbee in NYC possible. Donate below and make sure to include either:


 - An HH:MM:SS prediction of my finish time

 - A note telling me you don't endorse this because I'm gonna injure myself 

 - A prediction that I won't finish at all


Winner gets a trophy. Accurate skeptics get their names on a t-shirt. I get sore.

  • Robyn Ridley made a $25.00 donation

    If anyone can run a half-marathon without training, it's you!

    $25.00
  • Eric Tagliaferre made a $20.00 donation

    2:20 too determined to not see this through

    $20.00
  • Ping Pong Part 2 made a $22.00 donation
    $22.00
  • Ping Pong Fundraiser made a $180.00 donation
    $180.00
  • Anonymous made a $50.00 donation
    $50.00
  • Veronica Fox made a $50.00 donation

    complete confidence you shall finish time around 4:30:00

    $50.00
  • Nellie Clark made a $10.00 donation

    I believe in you. 03:45:00 finish time. That's like if you walk the whole thing at a decent pace.

    $10.00
  • Maggie Maloney made a $25.00 donation

    Sub-70 PR.

    $25.00
  • Clarissa Karpen made a $24.00 donation

    running sucks!

    $24.00
  • Kelly Kenny made a $100.00 donation

    Lesgooo Jess! You’ll finish in 2:20-2:30

    $100.00
  • Barbara and Rick Sutton made a $50.00 donation

    We have faith that you’ll finish! it may not be pretty but you’ll do it!

    $50.00
  • Thomas Swift made a $100.00 donation

    You got this, Jessica!

    $100.00
  • Steph Campanha Wheaton made a $25.00 donation

    just learned what a parlay is so I think you’ll finish but you’ll still injure yourself. I might still not fully understand parlays tbf

    $25.00
  • Maria Duke made a $10.00 donation
    $10.00
  • Gregory Pollock made a $25.00 donation

    I think you will crush it!

    $25.00
  • Robert Pollock made a $200.00 donation

    Jessica we both know you got this

    $200.00
  • Harrison Kaish made a $25.00 donation

    I make no claims about how you will finish or how long it will take, but I believe you are too stubborn both in your character and your cause to NOT finish. See you at the finish line.

    $25.00
  • Elizabeth Pollock made a $50.00 donation

    Showing solidarity with Jeff and betting against you

    $50.00
  • Katie Pollock made a $25.00 donation

    I have no doubt that you’ll crush this race! You got this girl!

    $25.00
  • Jonathan Lao made a $100.00 donation

    This is not a good idea.

    $100.00
  • James Lawler made a $20.00 donation

    2:35:00

    $20.00
  • Ryan Mark made a $50.00 donation

    Jess and Ryan. You can do it! How hard can running be?

    $50.00
  • Adriana Sandoval made a $25.00 donation

    lane kim deserves to rock as much as jessica sacks deserves to run (to prove a point) finishing time = 13 ²

    $25.00
  • Renae Zengotita made a $25.00 donation

    she will obviously finish and I will get small trophy for doing absolutely nothing

    $25.00
  • lesser man unless Jeff waived the transaction fee made a $47.00 donation

    I believe Jess will finish and get injured. Average mile pace 10min/mile.

    $47.00
  • A lesser man then Jeff made a $49.00 donation

    3 hours 18 minutes finish

    $49.00
  • Jeffrey Pollock made a $50.00 donation

    DNF

    $50.00
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