A MESSAGE FROM Amanda’s Fundraising Page
Infertility is something that came at me unexpectedly. It was a lot to process and I am still processing it. I lost both of my fallopian tubes making me completely infertile. I remember going into the doctors office for the last operation and the nurse asking me if there was any chance I was pregnant which gave me the realization that the answer will always be no unless I am actively going through fertility treatments. It was a moment that I felt I lost a part of my identity.
IVF changed my life. I have my daughter, Rowan, thanks to IVF and Dr. Rossi. While it was a "positive" experience the first round, the last few haven't been.
Infertility healthcare (or lack of) is frustrating. Some businesses provide infertility benefits, others don't and you will pay a majority out of pocket. I was lucky to have infertility benefits with VS&Co. and I am forever grateful to have had some help in the first few rounds. The process of dealing with insurance, making sure medication arrives at the perfect time, figuring out how to pay for everything and the cost if you have to go though this multiple times is very overwhelming and can take a toll on your mental health. Then put in the fact that the government is fighting against women's rights adds another layer of stress.
Last year, my husband (Hans) and I went through 3 failed transfers and 2 egg retrievals. I really wanted Rowan to have a sibling, but was feeling rushed because of my age as well as my daughter growing up. One of my biggest concerns was that I was living in Ohio and I was nervous that I was going to lose control of my embryos. I felt like I had to keep going and didn't take much of a break between the failed transfers.
We have one embryo left after all of that. It will always be a factor in my life. If we are to transfer it and it fails, it will be our last try. If we don't transfer it, it will always be the "what if". It could also be a sibling, something I have to remind myself.
Going through IVF non-stop for over a year, my body changed. I started to not really feel like myself and I was constantly having to plan my shots where people wouldn't know. I found myself missing out on things because I was planning my life around these shots. The people that were aware and helped me through this, I am so grateful for. Huge thanks to my sister, Caitlin, for giving me one of my shots at a Post Malone concert. I also couldn’t have done it without Hans. He gave me every shot (I used to be terrified of needles). I’m pretty sure the first shot I ever had to get for IVF took over an hour to do. Have you seen the size of those needles?!
I am using this year to focus on myself and my family before even considering transferring the last embryo. Couldn't think of a better way to do this other than running a marathon in my favorite city for a very important cause.
There are many reasons why I am running with RESOLVE. I wanted to share my story. It feels therapeutic in a way. I feel like I kept a lot in. I also want to educate. I want others to feel like they are not alone and know that there are resources out there. I want to continue to fight for infertility rights for everyone, especially my daughter.
I really appreciate your support!
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